Maybe I Should Drink a Lot Less Coffee

Beginning to Begin

2008-03-26T18:12:00.001-07:00

I recently was asked to help produce a video for the Academy's Graduation Fashion Show. Bright and bubbly me will be at your service, gripping a microphone for dear life as I watch time deny all physics. Apparently events like these make 20 hour days feel like 3 hours. My hair will be professionally poofed backstage with models as I try to convince them that crack does not count as meal and that people do have careers after the age of 23. It will be filled with glorious interviews with hob nobby people that I am sworn to secrecy to not release. Simon, the director of the department, gave me knife, made me cut myself open, and had me sign a contract in my own blood. But that's o.k because I'm sure they can prove tho the jury that it was only red ink. And if all goes well, to New York Fashion Week for another video, and the launch party for the magazine I am on staff with- OneEighty. The video should be up in May. The year of Amy is beginning to begin.

Hi Vanity Fair, let me introduce you to Alfred.

2008-03-08T08:49:00.000-08:00

This is one of the best photo spreads I have seen in a long time. The direction of the shoot is impeccable, like the original film masterpieces. Finally, a remake worth talking about....

Come Sail Away

2008-01-29T15:22:00.000-08:00

Freaks and Geeks is one of my all time favorite shows, but there are a couple episodes I haven't seen. I watched the pilot today. Brilliant. Of course the show was cancelled. Why is the general public so ignorant?

When the duel Evils of Jews and Fashion Meet

2008-01-15T00:05:00.000-08:00

Last week, Foxnews.com accused Madonna, Unicef, and Gucci of harboring donations to the Raising Malawi Foundation. Madonna is hosting a fundraiser on Feb. 6th for her Raising Malawi campaign to raise money for children in poverty. Because several community organizations, and other non profits are supporting her campaign, this must mean Madonna is stealing this money to get kids to not renounce the New Testament. They made this claim, even though the organization is a registered non-profit. This coming from the news source that also said we went to war with Iraq because of the 9/11. If I were ever the the formally popular game show "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" and I had a lifeline call, I would call Madonna any day before I would call Hannity or O'Reily. At least Madonna wouldn't dance around the issue using scare tactics to get me to agree with her answer.

Gucci and Madonna's reps have denied the accusation saying "I think that the claims in the story are outrageous, they are incorrect, inaccurate, hurtful and malicious," followed by "The reality is — and it’s never been a secret — that the Raising Malawi organization was cofounded by Madonna and Michael Berg, who is one of the spearheading executives of the Kabbalah organization. The Raising Malawi organization is completely separate from the Kabbalah, and they are run as two separate organizations."

And why, pray tell, is celebrity gossip on the news. THE NEWS. Im sure this story would never have been covered if Mel Gibson was trying to convert kids to Christianity, even if he was using another organization as a front. And why am I covering celebrity gossip? Look at what fox news has done to me. Bastards.

Dear Craigslist

2008-01-14T01:12:00.000-08:00

From my six month hiatus, i am back, ready for the year of Amy. Although I have already been fired and am currently going broke, that doesn't mean it still can't be my year.....right? So be thankful that right now I am so poor and have nothing better to do than write in this blog because apparently craigslist has nothing to offer me anymore. Me and craigslist...we had a great thing going but its over. For months, its been teasing me and leading me on, letting me think "Hey Amy, this will be the perfect fit for you, immediately quit whatever your doing because there is something better on the horizon". Well Craigslist, I am sick of you treating me like a fourteen year old girl who is convinced that true love waits but is to scared to tell her boyfriend. I will not wait for you Craigslist. I know we had some good times, you got me my kick ass apartment in Nob Hill that from the outside appears like I am in the mafia. You found me a free microwave, and even gave me a second chance with that missed connection I had with that Mission hipster who had on the same pair of skinny jeans. Who would have thought he would have ended up to be my high school principal. Craigslist, I don't even need you anymore. So pack up your stuff, get out, and quit with the drunken text messages. It's over. And one last thing Craigslist, I just joined Digg. Take that.

Music keeps me sane.

2007-09-26T10:22:00.000-07:00

*I strongly believe that people who throw their bodies off rooftops have never heard music that soothes the soul. The difference between me and them is that I have heard this song.*

Well the first days are the hardest days,
Don't you worry any more, 'Cause when life looks like easy
Street, there is danger at your door.
Think this through with me, let me know your mind.
Woh - oh, what I want to know, is are you kind?

It's a buck dancer's choice my friend; better take my advice.
You know all the rules by now and the fire from ice.
Will you come with me, won't you come with me?
Woh - oh, what I want to know, will you come with me?

Goddamn, well I declare, have you seen the like?
Their walls are built of cannonballs, their motto is
Don't tread on me. Come hear Uncle John's Band playing
To the tide, come with me, or go alone.

It's the same story the crow told me;
It's the only one he knows.
Like the morning sun you come and like the wind you go.
Ain't no time to hate, barely time to wait,
Woh - oh, what I want to know, where does the time go?

I live in a silver mine and I call it Beggar's Tomb;
I got me a violin and I beg you call the tune
Anybody's choice, I can hear your voice.
Woh - oh, what I want to know, how does the song go?

Come hear the Uncle John's Band by the riverside
Got some things to talk about, here beside the risin' tide
Come hear Uncle John's Band playing to the tide,
Come on along, or go alone,
He's come to take his children home.
Woh - oh, what I want to know, how does the song go?

Come hear Uncle John's Band by the riverside,
Got some things to talk about here beside the risin' tide.
Come hear Uncle John's Band playing to the tide, come on
Along or go alone, he's come to take his children home.

Awrts and Fawrts and Crafts.

2007-09-05T20:28:00.000-07:00

my de

Some newer drawings! Its my frist time experimenting in ink, so bear with me, but i really do like the feel of it.

ZIA!

2007-09-01T11:43:00.000-07:00

I am going to be an aunt.

More importantly my brother and sister in law are having a baby.

In honor of Dave being able to spread the family seed, I am going to write a poem for him. That right, whos the published poet now BIOTCH!

My brother is becoming a dad
His wife thinks it will be a little lad
Im just excited
and simply delighted
It really is just totally rad.

Ok, thats all i got. DAVE- EDIT EDT EDIT! i want this one in text books.

I still cant believe how quick we grew up. My brother has always been my best friend and confidant, I know he will be a wonderful father. Hopefully I will be a decent aunt.

American Beauty

2007-08-31T09:29:00.000-07:00

"Once in a while you get shown the light, in the strangest of places if you look at right"
"The Grateful Dead

Yesterday goes down in the book as one of the most beautiful days I have ever seen. After a exciting and eventful two weeks, my boyfriend and I got the chance to spend the day to ourselves, and later with dear friends, in the most beautiful city in the country. 90 degrees in San Francisco? Who would have thought. We laughed, painted, walked through parks, ate canolis in the sun, sipped red wine on the roof, and listened to the White Album.

"The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you"
-the Beatles

It was wonderful for a whole day to sit back and understand and appreciate all the things around me. To look out on our roof and see everyone going by their daily routine, to watch sailboats float across the bay, and see everything so intentionally placed like a minature dollhouse. It was necessary for me to just watch everything breathe and watch as the city came to life.

Some days you just remember whats important in life. And usually in come right in the nick of time.

My art!

2007-07-31T10:06:00.000-07:00

Heres some work from the past couple of weeks. I currently dont have a scanner so its picture taken of them, the quality is a little iffy, but nonetheless...BOOM!

potriat of de

sketchbook drawings

this is a cloe ad i saw in elle

workshop drawings

another potrait

a light fixture

fashion croquis from my sketchbook

Instant Karma

2007-07-10T09:50:00.000-07:00

John Lennon , a brilliant songwriter who redefined music. He gave us songs such as "Revolution" and "Give Peace a chance". His peaceful thinking threatened a nation so much, our government tapped his phones and tried to deport him. He virtually stopped playing music for five years to dedicate his passion into getting to know his son. This is a man who said things like "God is a concept by which we measure our pain", comes a tribute with his face stamped on the front.

Avril Lavigne bought you top 40 hits like "Sk8ter Boi" and "My Happy Ending". She kidnaps songs from 1970s power pop bands. Her songwriting has been described by people she has worked with as follows : "I mean, Avril, songwriter? Avril doesn't really sit and write songs by herself or anything." She also has inspired many with her insightful words such as "People are like, 'Well, she doesn't know the Sex Pistols.' Why would I know that stuff? Look how young I am. That stuff's old, right? " . What would these to people have in common? That right, absolutely nothing, yet for some reason, Avril Lafuckingvigne gets the honor of covering John Lennons most influential song "imagaine" on a tribute album to raise money for Darfur (which is great).

This album is a complete embarrassment to every noise that has ever been turned into music. Sounds everywhere are peeking over the 30 story building and wondering to their selves "how long would it hurt until it was all over?". Im talking jumping off bridges, crematorium gas chambers, drinking cool aid kind of dying here. Its awful. Let me list some of the gifted 'artists' featured on the album:

-Christina Aguleira
-Black Eyed Peas
-Matisyahu
-Big and rich
-Jacks Mannequin
-Yellowcard (this is a real hiatus from singing about that girl who broke your heart you were just 16 and it felt so right, sleeping all day staying up all niiiiiiiggght)
-and of course, Avril

The list goes on, I can really stop there. Although, I will say this, the covers that are good are stellar. Regina Spektor covers "real love", which bought me to tears, of course I was already crying from the painful experience of listening to the previous tracks.

I read a review say saying "if John Lennon were here he would tell all of you naysayers to this album to stop being elitist snobs. If Avril Lavigne gets my 10 year old to listen to John Lennon, then I am fricking overjoyed." This is a valid point. But you could just play John Lennon for your kid. Shes 10 years old, you influence her, not pop culture, isnt that the point of being a parent?

Diversity

2007-06-28T20:35:00.000-07:00

Today on New Montgomery a girl stopped me and asked me to go to church. I find this funny because yesterday a guy stopped me and asked me if I wanted some crystal meth. Welcome to San Francisco.

Being Gay is the Bomb!

2007-06-15T20:31:00.000-07:00

United States Air force government papers have been found stating that our military investigated building a 'gay bomb', making enemy soldiers 'sexually irresistible' to each other.

SERIOUSLY??

I first read this article of some obscure newspaper, and found that I went through the five stages of grief almost immediately.

1. Denial: Really? I mean, I’m not a huge fan of our government right now, but they wouldn't really....Maybe this is an Onion headline. It has to be. Oh those guys did it again. Hilarious....or maybe it real....I should look for some other sources. Lets see, Google search. "U.S military Gay Bomf" And enter. Yes, Google, I did mean "U.S Military Gay Bomb". Ok, lets see what we got... BBC NEWS!?!?!

2. Anger: !?!?!?!!!?!??!?!?!?!?!????!?!???? OK, this has to be real. BBC News is one of the most unbiased news sources in the world. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH OUR COUNTRY. At this point, I continue reading, next to this brilliant idea, they also thought of "sting me/attack" chemical weapon to attract swarms of angry wasps and rats, and (get ready for this one) a "who me" bomb which would simulate flatulence’s in the enemy ranks. First of all, who needs a bomb for that, just send an undercover cook on the enemy base to fix Mexican for dinner, and two, being gay and farting are comparable things to the United States government.

3. Bargaining: After more pondering, I thought this fart thing could actually be kind of funny. Picture Osama Bin Laden smelling his own farts....king of halarious. Ok U.S government, you can make the gay bomb as long as you make that fart bomb, capture Osamo, get some prick to "sneak in" a camera phone, and illegally record it and put it on YouTube.

4. Depression: No, no, no, that’s wrong. And just plain sad. How in the hell could an entire group of people honestly believe that homosexuals, when given the choice to take a bullet or stick their tongue down someone’s throat they would choose the latter. Because sexual attraction, I’m sorry, homosexual attraction (sexual attraction would imply this country viewed hetero and homosexuals as equals) is so completely paralyzing that you cannot fulfill your duties. These are the people controlling the war in Iraq, no wonder we are still there, doing absolutely nothing. And not only that, it was a six year plan that would have cost 7.5 million dollars. Bye bye tax dollars! Apparently here in America, our hard earned tax money goes towards breeding hate. Wonderful.

and 5. Acceptance: "Gay community leaders in California said Friday that they found the notion of a "gay bomb" both offensive and almost laughable at the same time." If they can laugh about it, I suppose I can. At this point, our country should probably take anyone who’s willing to take a bullet for this backwards shit hole, but that’s a whole other rant!

Ahhhhh the joys of freedom of speech. Thank you America, for being so negligent and prejudice, so I can exercise my right to bitch about it, while all the “don’t ask don’t tell" heterosexual soliders fight to maintain that right.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4174519.stm

Reincarnation of Hippies?

2007-06-11T16:15:00.000-07:00

I am jobless. I quit my job I hated and am now on the hunt...again. I have spent my days reading the A.V Club articles and looking at Paris Hiltons mug shot. What is wrong with me. This isn't me. I hate Paris Hilton, and mug shots for that matter. Although with the time off, I had had the opportunity for some more fun. Yesterday was jam packed: breakfast with Chris and Katy at a Belgium Crepe place in Hayes Valley, off to Golden Gate Park for the Vivienne Westwood exhibit, which by the way was inspiring. She was and is a one woman show, self taught, and started an entire generational movement almost single handily, with a little help from the Sex Pistols. Amazing. We checked some of the rest of the de Young, but didn’t have time to see everything. It was a really great collection of art, very eclectic and design focused. I loved it.

We then went to a live 'performance art' piece, which turned out to be more of a 'living art' piece in Golden Gate park on the top of strawberry hill. Only in San Francisco can I hike up a hill only to find vegetables mourning Buddha’s death. On to the next thing, the Haight Street Parade! Enough said there, use your imagination, just close your eyes and picture what a Haight Street Parade would look like. Got it? Yes, lots of hippies, music, pot, and homeless people. It was great. The parade was basically four different stereotypes of people copied over and over again.

1- Burnout hippy guy in a tie dye shirt and a long beard, begging for money. "I could be robbing people" declares their torn side of a brown box sign, next to his Starbucks cup full of pennies. Thanks smelly homeless guy! You’re not violently robbing me, only subtly robbing me! And while I'm on the topic, De raised an interesting question yesterday, how can all of these homeless people afford Starbucks?

2- Not homeless hippies. These are the hippies who put money into their lifestyle (i know, irony). These are kinds of people who exchange hugs for good vibes. They noodle dance while the band plays, and generally don’t do any harm, so I say "right on!".

3- Artsy music snobs who stepped out of their studio apartment to see what all the fuss is about. Their eyes pass judgment on the live music and art tents underneath their black-rimmed glasses and shaggy chic hairstyles. "Who’s this band playing?" you ask and they respond "oh I don’t remember the name, its kind of like bloc party meets velvet underground, post john cale that is. Kind of like a lo-fi Decemberists with a little sadcore thrown in." Wait....what? Excuse me?

4- and last but not least, the really really drunk person. Now at any other parade this would seems pretty staple, but this is Haight street. So now the guy acting like a frat pledge initiating in the middle of the Kentucky Derby’s infield screaming "Show me your boobs!" is not the life of the party, he is now the stoners buzz kill. "duuude, what the hell man, chill. woah, he’s like, a total buzz kill, ya know?" says the hippie in the token lethargic voice.

So thats how I ended my day, interacting with those four people. Over and over and over again.

Things I would rather do today than work

2007-06-07T14:03:00.000-07:00

1. do all of my laundry
2. watch a fraiser marathon
3. walk the taylor/california hill 10 times back to back
4. walk through the tenderloin with $1000 cash in my back pocket
5. shit every time i blink...

ok i guess i'll end on that one.

A day off.

2007-06-05T23:51:00.000-07:00

Today began early as most of my days in San Francisco have began. I apparently only sleep in rooms where direct light can shoot a laser beam through my window and onto my slumbering face. Its like someomne is pointing a prism directly outside my window. But after the suns rude awakening, I realized I had the day off anyway, so I should probably get started. Sat in bed, showered, and headed over to my friends Justins, where we were supposed to do Yoga, but were lazy and got coffee instead. We went to the brainwash, which I love. But I've heard that Rachel Ray did a review on it and loved it, which if you have been to the brainwash, I have a hard time picturing here there. Or at least walking into and stepping out of there. Its in the heart of SOMA, and her precious manicured toenails would probably step on at least a couple dirty syringes on the way out. Anyways, bail on Yoga, onto the addictions, and then home for some errands. De and I went out, I opened a new bank account with possibly the worlds sweetest women at US Bank. I will probably find an excuse to go to the bank now when I miss my mom solely to see this women and have her make me feel better. We also went to a great sushi place in Little Italy ( i know, talk about an oxymoron), but it was suprisingly fantastic. Overall, good day, no Samovar. Success.