Being Gay is the Bomb!

United States Air force government papers have been found stating that our military investigated building a 'gay bomb', making enemy soldiers 'sexually irresistible' to each other.

SERIOUSLY??

I first read this article of some obscure newspaper, and found that I went through the five stages of grief almost immediately.

1. Denial: Really? I mean, I’m not a huge fan of our government right now, but they wouldn't really....Maybe this is an Onion headline. It has to be. Oh those guys did it again. Hilarious....or maybe it real....I should look for some other sources. Lets see, Google search. "U.S military Gay Bomf" And enter. Yes, Google, I did mean "U.S Military Gay Bomb". Ok, lets see what we got... BBC NEWS!?!?!

2. Anger: !?!?!?!!!?!??!?!?!?!?!????!?!???? OK, this has to be real. BBC News is one of the most unbiased news sources in the world. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH OUR COUNTRY. At this point, I continue reading, next to this brilliant idea, they also thought of "sting me/attack" chemical weapon to attract swarms of angry wasps and rats, and (get ready for this one) a "who me" bomb which would simulate flatulence’s in the enemy ranks. First of all, who needs a bomb for that, just send an undercover cook on the enemy base to fix Mexican for dinner, and two, being gay and farting are comparable things to the United States government.

3. Bargaining: After more pondering, I thought this fart thing could actually be kind of funny. Picture Osama Bin Laden smelling his own farts....king of halarious. Ok U.S government, you can make the gay bomb as long as you make that fart bomb, capture Osamo, get some prick to "sneak in" a camera phone, and illegally record it and put it on YouTube.

4. Depression: No, no, no, that’s wrong. And just plain sad. How in the hell could an entire group of people honestly believe that homosexuals, when given the choice to take a bullet or stick their tongue down someone’s throat they would choose the latter. Because sexual attraction, I’m sorry, homosexual attraction (sexual attraction would imply this country viewed hetero and homosexuals as equals) is so completely paralyzing that you cannot fulfill your duties. These are the people controlling the war in Iraq, no wonder we are still there, doing absolutely nothing. And not only that, it was a six year plan that would have cost 7.5 million dollars. Bye bye tax dollars! Apparently here in America, our hard earned tax money goes towards breeding hate. Wonderful.

and 5. Acceptance: "Gay community leaders in California said Friday that they found the notion of a "gay bomb" both offensive and almost laughable at the same time." If they can laugh about it, I suppose I can. At this point, our country should probably take anyone who’s willing to take a bullet for this backwards shit hole, but that’s a whole other rant!

Ahhhhh the joys of freedom of speech. Thank you America, for being so negligent and prejudice, so I can exercise my right to bitch about it, while all the “don’t ask don’t tell" heterosexual soliders fight to maintain that right.


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/4174519.stm